Picture courtesy of MaranDesigns. Grandmum 5 Avie, available on the marketplace

HEY HEARTUN ~ Sex in Second Life never really attracted me, I mean it isn’t really sex… you know? And ever since I divorced my second husband I just hadn’t given a crap about involving anyone else in my pursuit of the ‘Big O’ — you know?

But this guy I met the second day I was in Second Life talked me into getting a web cam. Have you ever used one of those? (giggles) He’s half my age (still quite legal, I’m no spring chicken!) but we start off playing in SL and soon enough (giggles) we’ve got our web cams going too and we’re pleasing ourselves and IT’S JUST SO DIRTY I COULD DIE! (giggles)

I’m a mid-40’s mother of five! And he acts like I’m a goddess! Oh, and Heartun, he is soooo hot! I didn’t date men this hot when I was younger and looked my best. ~ DIRTY MILFSTER

DEAR DIRTY MILFSTER ~ First off, just because you sag here and there doesn’t make you too old for sex. The only organ required for good sex is the brain, the rest are certainly nice — but totally not necessary if you can get turned on by someone (or by yourself!)

It sounds like you’ve got two issues going on here: you dig being a dirty, dirty girl and you are completely flattered that a hot young guy appears to dig you.

First, let me say that you are a dirty, dirty girl. Maybe you should ask your boy to punish you. He may be old enough to play, but may not know how to take charge and the art of being dirty involves dominance. So urge him to give you little tasks. If he can’t come up with something, try to hint that it would be sexy if he were to order you to go to work in a skirt an no undies — and send him an email or an IM from your workplace about how it feels. Urge him to take charge and to challenge your comfort zone.

Second, you seem to be surprised that a pretty young man would be turned on by a woman who’s been there and done that. Don’t be. This guy may not be in it for the long haul, but is that a bad thing? I mean, enjoy him until you find better or he loses interest! This is just good sex play! Young men aren’t often faithful, but some of them are smart enough to know a good thing when they see it — and you are so sexually repressed, bursting at the seams, served on a stick horny and ready to go you just scream ‘fuck me hard!’

Have some fun. Don’t hold back. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER