Photo Courtesy of Second Life Adventures

HEY HEARTUN~ Can you still be friends with someone after you’ve cybered? Even if you don’t want to cyber with them any more? ~FRIENDS FOREVER

DEAR FRIENDS~
The short answer is ‘no.’

But it’s more complicated than that.

Cyber sex is the safest thing out there, and lets face it… it is convenient. Assisted masturbation can be very exciting,  but if that’s all you’ve got with your partner — that partnership may fade with time. (Perhaps in minutes).

It sounds like that is what happened here — from what little you gave us to go on — and I’m guessing you just don’t want to be a jerk and drop your boring lover like an adult would. So you’ll pull the ‘lets be friends’ routine and meet with the predictable results. Your erstwhile lover will know they are being spurned, get pissed off or clingy, and give you a reason to drop them where you can blame THEM for the breakup.

After all, you still wanted to be friends and they got all ‘weird’ on you. Right?

Be an adult. Just tell them you are no longer getting what you want out of the relationship and need to move on. After a cooling off period, if you run into them again, try being FRIENDLY (i.e. civil and kind). And as for your next conquest, try being friends first — if you really want the whole package, and not just a dalliance. See if you have something in common besides mutual masturbation and one handed typing.

The key here is that adults have a fair idea of what they’re looking for before they engage others in ‘more than friends’ play. Sure, they get it wrong, but they’re trying. If you don’t have a clue, you are doomed to hurt others and be frustrated with whatever you get.

~HEARTUN BREAKER

EXTRA~ Author Caroline Takeda masterfully covers the art of cyber sex on the site Second-Life-Adventures.com