Kind Readers~ This is a reprint of an article that ran on my old site in 2006. ~HB

Photo courtesy of Isabelle Cheren. Watch her YouTube video, A Virtual Romance in Second Life.

HEY HEARTUN~ I came to Second Life a couple months ago and started hanging out in Club Arsheba where I met the love of my life. Other than work and (some) sleep I spent all of my time either with her, or waiting for her. I bought her lots of nice things, and wrote her poetry all the time.

Then the bitch dumped me! She muted me too!

So I made an alt, started hanging out at the club again, and met her over again. Things went really well for a while but then she recognized me, I think from my poetry. How can I win her back? ~THIRD TIME CHARMER

DEAR CHARMER~ Benjamin Franklin said ‘the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’

You clearly fit that definition, so lets try to improve your cover.

Go to www.lyricsondemand.com and bone up on some Al Green lyrics. Instead of writing your own poetry, steal from the master.

Tell her things like:

  • I just can’t stop from holding you
  • I can’t quit a love like this from consuming you
  • There must be a reason why I feel so free
  • Me loving you, you loving me
  • Your love is more than I deserve
  • Oh baby, you made me, you gave me your love… 

Memorize a bunch of Rev. Green’s lyrics and use them liberally in all your communication with this woman. Then, when she finds you out again (and she will) go get a lobotomy, make another alt, and try using the lyrics of the Moody Blues. If that doesn’t work, try picking up a new girlfriend in Port Cos. ~HEARTUN BREAKER