HEY HEARTUN~ When I came to Second Life and discovered the Scat Lovers group I cried in relief. You see, I’m a 24 year old executive assistant for a Fortune 500 company and my husband and I live the American Dream — but I secretly smear my own feces all over me, or roll in it, as I masturbate.

Photo courtesy of Tesla Miles

I’ve been doing it for years, since I was a girl. It started in the shower in my parents house. The house my husband and I live in has wooden floors, leather furniture, linoleum, and other hard surfaces that clean up well — because I have ‘christened’ every room in the house.

My husband doesn’t know, and I am sure he wouldn’t understand. So finding others who share my fetish for the first time has lifted a lifetime of shame from my shoulders — even if only in Second Life. I love my real life husband, but am looking for a Second Life partner for mutual Scat love. Will this jeopardize my marriage? ~ SCAT LOVER

DEAR SCAT: Will having a secret lover in Second Life jeopardize your marriage in real life? No, not necessarily. Unfortunately,  your real life marriage may already  be doomed. Every marriage has some secrets, like how many lovers you’ve had in the past or that thing your spouse does that secretly annoys you. These secrets differ from the one you are keeping in that they are not things that really define who you are.

Your life-long love of ‘smearing’ scat sounds like it is a huge part of your sexuality. It sounds like something you need, and will apparently seek out a partner for. Telling your husband, and not telling him, are both fraught with danger. 

I love giving advice, but on this one I’m not going to try to tell you what to do. Staying in the closet (outhouse?) or laying it all out for him both bring too many unknowns and will likely have unforeseen consequences. Holding on to your secret is safe, but you’re holding on to fear and shame while you do so. Bravely revealing your kink to your husband is a much lighter emotional burden, but may result in losing him altogether. And as someone who went through one divorce I can tell you that no one gets through that unscathed — although there is peace on the other side, generally. 

If you take on a Second Life lover you will be building a nest of little lies to hide your big secret, and that burden only gets bigger. It may be one that solves your problem, and there are people in Second Life who keep SL in SL and RL in RL… but don’t think that journey is simple or easy. If you find a trusted friend in the Scat Lovers group who is in a similar situation, talk with them about what they are doing and how it’s working out. Have conversations with several such people if you can, but do so to help yourself find what ‘feels right’ for you.

As with any kink, in my opinion, there is no shame being a scat lover. How you behave towards others, however, has consequences that you will have to live with. I wish you the best as you find out what works for you. In time, please write again and tell us. 

~HEARTUN BREAKER