Kind Readers~ This is a reprint of an article that first ran on my old site in January, 2006. ~HB

Photo Courtesy of *Eat Me* (a store in the marketplace)

HEY HEARTUN~ My wife, girlfriend, ‘partner’ whatever — I think she cheating on me. We ben talking about her livin Textas and moving up to me in Detroit and what not. We good together. We play alla time. But month ago she play that WoW game, now she don’t come on SL hardly never!!!!

I ask if she cheetin but she say “no” but I see she on with the AIM alla time but she ignore me some time so I thinking she on Wow with some dude!!!

When she DO come play SL she all “No, my computer just on. I was out.” but I no she lyin. What Ima do? I hella mad but she don no that yit. ~HELLA ‘G’

DEAR HELLA~ When did gangstas start playing Second Life? Um — never. Whether you are black or white or Latino or Asian, you’ve got to drop the ‘too cool for school’ hip-hop mode of speech because it just doesn’t work in an online environment. Face it, if you are here YOU ARE A GEEK. It’s just a question of to what extent or degree. 

Now, to your question, I presume you’ve tried to get her WoW name and server, with the intention of stalking her there. Since you didn’t mention it, I’m guessing that she didn’t divulge that information. So here’s what you do.

Trick her by acting extra trusting. When she isn’t around, don’t send her messages but when she is around say things like “I like hanging around you” and ask her to tell you about her day. Use complete sentences. Act caring and concerned for her wellbeing. Don’t let on that you are needy and distrustful. Act like every moment with her is a gift that makes you happy.

It’s just a gues,s but I doubt she’s ever experienced that from you, so these new emotions you evoke in her will throw her off guard. She’ll actually start spending more time with you instead of ignoring your IMs, lying to you about where she is, and trotting off to WoW to cyber some troll. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER