HEY HEARTUN: I am new and have no money and my skin is ugly and my hair is ugly and my clothing is lame and I don’t have no land and I don’t get any women. Help me. ~ WANTIN SOME

 

DEAR WANTIN: The good news is that there is someone for everyone in Second Life. The bad news is, the woman you want may not be the woman who will settle for you. I can’t fix you. I can, however, point you down a road that could lead to you fixing yourself. Lets start with the easy stuff.

Go to a Welcome Area, like in Ahern or New London, and ask the people there if they have any freebies — especially clothing, hair, some gestures with sounds, and a man skin. (Only ask once, or you are an annoying beggar).

It’s also OK for you to just go to a shop and wear a demo skin. It is likely that having the word “DEMO” written across your body will be the least ‘off-putting’ thing about you.

That’s it for the easy stuff. Next up, you jumble all your thoughts into one long stream. Don’t do that. It confuses everyone and is a turn off.  That said, I’m afraid smart women are out of your league. You need to focus on women with your own level of critical thinking and discernment (or lower). To do that it only takes two things.

    1. Don’t ever say anything that Tarzan couldn’t say.
    2. For every thing you say about yourself, you should make two about her.

Here is an example:

Wantin Some: Hi. You look good!

Dumb Girl: Me?

Wantin Some: Yeah. 😀 

Dumb Girl: TY 🙂

Wantin Some:  V^vv^V Howlzzzzz V^vv^V

(uncomfortable pause)

Wantin Some: You smell good too.

Dumb Girl: Oh! You are so clever! Can I be your sub?

Wantin Some: Call me ‘Master’!

Dumb Girl: Yes, Master!