Like many, Stella finds the fellowship she wants and needs in various groups of people she’s met and curated in Second Life.

Photo courtesy: Business Insider

Dance clubs, the Ahern Welcome Area, fishing piers, bordellos, race tracks, gambling dens – all of these are places where groups of people gather to be with other people. All have their old timers, and outsiders – their mother hens and their persistent griefers. Some of them work, and others fall apart.

It may turn out that each of us, in our real lives, will have to survive this pandemic alone or feeling isolated. Second Life allows us to not only find others with common interests, but also to find some incredibly different backgrounds that may force us to explore other aspects of ourselves and the world – assuming that we can keep an open mind. It is true that we do not have to be a part of a group, but it can broaden our outlook to listen to someone else’s life stories and share with them our own.

“Besides, no matter who I have ever played, at the end of the day and where it all matters, I have to live with myself,” Stella said. “The woman staring back at me in the mirror, from the very beginning until the absolute bitter end.”

There is no one thing that spells success with any group, but some researchers looking at how to use focus groups in virtual worlds may have stumbled on one key component: the core members who hold down the fort, and how they behave towards everyone – even those they dislike.

Some science
“The keys to virtual communication rely more heavily on avatar body appearance, some emoting of animations, and vocal inflections of the facilitator,” said researcher Charles Xiaoxue Wang in the article ‘Facilitating Group Discussions in Second Life’ published in March 2014 in the MERLOT Journal of Online Learning and Teaching. “Therefore, as pacesetters and role models, the facilitators set a norm of how group members treat each other.”

Dr. Wang’s research was specifically looking at how focus group facilitators could effectively moderate groups in Second Life compared with in person (real life) moderation of focus groups, but the findings may apply to successful group dynamics.

Where did I leave those fucks?
In the end, there is not a solution for the group break-ups that we encounter in Second Life, but individually, it is possible to view a Second Life quarrel as a simple unpleasant online interaction and move on. Some of us enjoy the idea of being liked, involved and included. That might be the reason we ventured into this virtual world, but when the fighting starts, we have to remember that in reality everything is actually all right until that is proven otherwise and use those opportunities to practice the control that we think we lack. Behave singularly, so that when you find yourself in diverse company, it will be easier to rise above the animosity and have fun with others who are here to do the same. Second Life can allow people to convey their deep-seated desires, antipathies or even genuine wishes for world peace. Frankly, it’s all fascinating to observe.

~Gina

Photo courtesy of Rissa’s Second Life

What’s a Troll?’

First off: lets lay down some terms, because ‘troll’ is not well defined. For our purposes, trolling is a constellation of three social practices: learning, assimilating, and transgressing in order to co-opt a discussion. There’s actually been scholarly research on it, and while I’m focusing on the anti-social effects it can have in a Second Life group, there is some research that says it can (at times) have a pro-social impact on online communities.

The first group I observed told me about the two-part nature of one trolls interaction – and it involved an (perhaps unwitting) ally, or ‘attractor’.

If you witness the attractor’s interaction with a troll, it is evident that their reaction will cause the troll to escalate their vexing behavior in an effort to get under the attractors skin. Both parties enter a vicious cycle, this one ending with the attractor exiting the sim for good. But even that didn’t end the drama.

“They hate us when we’re there, hate us when we’re gone,” they said, in an open conversation about how chatter-boxes in the original sim were still talking about their leaving – and how it left a poor taste in their mouths.

“Telephone: the Game”

Photo courtesy of AsteroidBox (visit their marketplace store). 

Unfortunately, in SL, it is easy for conversations between friends to be conferred through a number of people to the point of badly distorting the message, or just taking it out of context. That leaves one friend offended and the other in utter confusion about what happened. If these words do not go directly from messenger to receiver, it is possible that an affectionate remark will get turned into an end of friendship because of the “he said, she said” that is sandwiched in between.

One person informed me that they would rather include everyone who would like to join in and no one be excluded. A 12 year SL resident I call “Mr. M” says SL users, as a general population, have real life social hang ups and they “bring those problems here.”

“I have defended people. Often, actually. I have had my character attacked,” said another SLitizen who has been in-world since 2008, and who requested anonymity so as to not cause turmoil in their active groups. “All you can do is be yourself if people lie. If criticism has merit, I consider it. People are often not brave enough to be open about it.”

The way this SLitizen puts it: group discord can come from “Miscommunication, when people are trying to be kind” and “Power struggles when people aren’t trying to be kind.”

Noobs BEWARE!

In another form of “flattery”- and I use that word in quotes because there is nothing in these scenarios that makes anyone feel good – you sometimes encounter other types of interactions that are not only nuisances, but tend to create discomfort if uninvited.

When a noob logs in the first few times, they frequently find fun people with whom they can kick back and chat or voice. Unaware that they are letting down much needed guards and opening the door for ANYONE to be a friend.

“It’s like when I warned you about giving out even a little info about your offline life to just anyone,” said one anonymous SLitizen. “People with nefarious motives will keep notes on those things, and over time may be able to gather a lot of info. We tend to think of being online as short time (unless you’re one who is really here 24/7 and that’s a whole nuttha story.)”

Linden Labs provides a section on your profile for other people to keep notes on you. You don’t get to see these notes, only they do. And people in SL will keep notes on you.

These notes could be taken by someone who is worried about a newcomer that is showing troll-like tendencies — or potentially a more malevolent maneuver. In a preemptive move to avoid the latter from happening, some will often find a different sim to make friends. Making some note taking useful, particularly when it comes to deciding on a necessary move away from the original group.

Aside from being put off by trolls and stalkers, the more obvious divisions come from discussions of politics and religion. This is the RL bleed into SL that people cannot seem to relinquish. People here will often have active sexual second lives while at the same time clinging to their political and religious beliefs without skipping a beat.

“The SL climate has changed over time. People treat it more like a game than the virtual world it was intended…also more Millennial’s,” said long-time Slitizen Stella Saxmundham. “Gen X, Y, Z, and the greatest generation – the Boomers – are here! We don’t often agree. Each generation thinks theirs invented the wheel.”

The Real Reason

After interviewing these long time users, I have a better understanding of how words do actually have meaning and effect. Frequently, the emotional aspect of our real life selves play into our reactions. It is easy to detach because in reality it is you sitting alone in front of a screen as it quickly fills with thoughts from other people doing the same thing. You can smoothly transition into actual feelings about a nonexistent place without consequence. Or can you? No one is actually yelling in your face, maybe in your ear, and they are not physically harming you, but the visceral response is often real.

 “The first experience was the most painful because I didn’t expect those real-life emotions to spill over into Second Life,” again from Stella, “Later, I became more accustomed to the dynamics of these heated, often impassioned arguments.”

~Gina

Up Next:

In the last installment I look at the up-side of groups

Photo courtesy of PCD Poses.

“Some wish to divide and conquer. It makes them feel superior. Others like to see discord and splintering for a sense of control, as they have little power over other aspects of their lives,” said one anonymous Second Life resident, when I asked them about their experiences with the power dynamics often found in groups. “High school tactics, play for power and popularity… because of the anonymity at the beginning. However, ultimately people that are out of control of their offline lives tend to lose it online as well.”

It’s all about control. 

That’s something many of us feel we are losing in our first lives as Covid, politics and financial insecurity sweep the planet. People come to Second Life for the fantasy, and to play, but the personalities behind the keyboards bring their issues with them, and it can wreak havoc in a group. Why do we break into factions and engage in aggressive behavior to demean others, as adults, in a 3D ‘chatroom’? I set out two weeks ago to find answers.

Stella

“One group (I am in) is a public chat hub where a smorgasbord of personalities gather,” 12 year SL veteran Stella Saxmundham told me. Stella has a strong personality and firm beliefs and was not shy when I approached her for this article. “It is a place for regulars as well as the newcomers, and even the occasional troll.”

Stella says that regular members of this group organize themed parties for holidays, as well as ‘Rez Day’ celebrations (SL equivalent of birthdays) for members. She’s also involved in a book discussion group that holds a weekly chat where they discuss what they are reading in ‘real life’.

“There is always time for ‘one more’ book after logging off SL, right?” she said comically. “ There doesn’t seem to be any drama at all (in that group)… just a love for books and fellowship.”

Another group in which she partakes is faith based.

“This one helps me balance out any stresses and issues I face in RL/SL. I am often happily surprised when I do engage,” she said, adding that especially during a pandemic “it is important for me to be with others who share my faith, but also those that might possibly be in need. Always try to help someone. You might be the only one who does!”

While power-plays over control have long been the most divisive influence on SL groups, mounting pressures in real life are super-charging them. Along with easy access to inflated egos comes the potential to create an unflinching divide, if left unchecked. That is anathema to community.

The Blarneystone Pub 

Photo courtesy of the SL Enquirer

“The clique fight. It split the group, offended people, and nearly brought down an old and famous SL club and sim – the Blarneystone Pub on the Dublin sim,” Stella recalled of a dispute in 2014 that started when a staff member at the pub formed her own clique and proceeded to divide the regular patrons. “She was considered a bully by many. Slowly and surely people got fed up, tempers flared, emotions were raw.”

A Second Life writer, and Dublin regular, Mony Markova posted a story in the SL Enquirer about the split, according to Stella that was a risky move for the writer, museum owner and (sometimes) shit-starter.

“She received kudos for it, as well as backlash. She earned a permanent ban in Dublin for her exposé,” Stella added. “As her friend, I was supportive of her article, and posted comments on her side. Most regulars felt the same way as I did – pushed out, diminished, and just downright unwelcome – in a place we once called home. People came out of the woodwork in support. I don’t think anyone expected the response it garnered.”

Comments in the SL Enquirer from frustrated patrons went on for weeks and months, Stella said.

~ Gina

To be continued.

Next: Trolls & Other Nuisances

“Moo.” It was the first thing I read when I teleported into a sim that I knew nothing about. I was only given a slight glimpse on what I should expect before I ventured into Happy Cows Ranch 4 with editrix Heartun Breaker. If someone said to you, “women go there to get milked,” you would be a little curious too, right? No? Just me? Okay.

HuCows – Human Cows

Upon landing, I noticed that the sim was indeed a farm with stables all around, complete with milking machines in each stall for the workers. Walking into the barn I encountered a woman in one of those stalls, trussed up in restraints and with a milking apparatus attached to her breasts. We met a lovely “Cowcunt,” as they are called, by the name of Dani. Dani turned out to be a bit quiet when approached in local chat, so I thought that she might think we were there to ogle and make fun of her. I decided to take the conversation into a private message.

I immediately apologized to Cowcunt Dani in case she thought I was being rude taking it to PM so quickly. But, as she was on full display, strapped to a milking machine, wearing nothing but a G-string, I hoped it was ok. Her avatar was in a stall, the front of which was dominated by a video display of whirling graphics, interlaced with words like ‘obey’ and ‘kneel’ as well as photos of women being subjugated. (Hints of the final scene in the Kubrick film, A Clockwork Orange.)

Having a conscience is a really conflicting idea sometimes, I know. She did not take offense to the questioning at all apparently. WHEW! She explained to me that “Muffin” is the milking system and that there are many milking sims. (A search for the term ‘hucow’ – human cow – verified this.)

Meanwhile, Heartun was engaged in Gonzo journalism, immersing herself in the experience. She found a vending machine that provided her with a ‘feeding mask’ and milking cups to go over her breasts, as well as some rather severe restraints – for no apparent reason — other than degradation and submission.

‘We Work For Muffin”

When Dani told me there is “a sim for Muffin,” I automatically pictured a pimp type person that lurks in the background, instead of an automated milking machine, and maybe that was the reason she was so hesitant to speak. Nope. The conversation was as brief in private as it was in local. I asked her what she liked about being in the Happy Cows sim, because it looked to us like she has to sit there all day and just find stuff to do as she waits for her milk to collect. She was very slow to respond.

Heart kindly pointed out to me that Dani was probably busy in IMs. Duh, Gina. Dani did inform me that she enjoyed watching the spirals that pictured the real-life women attached to milk machines in what appeared to be the most awkward positions. The conversation with Dani ended, only producing more questions than answers.

I asked her if the men and women who visited the sim were there to interact with the cows or to watch. “I’ll leave that for you to find out, lol,” is all she said.

I guess I will never know. I thanked her and decided to see what else the sim had to offer. Other than a pig pen for subs and doms, Dani turned out to be the most interesting thing about the Happy Cows Ranch 4. ~ Gina

EDITORS NOTE:

The milking apparatus has quotas, points and levels – much like a game – but there are also tabs to keep track of ‘breeding attempts.’ I went back several times, and never saw any breeding going on. While the vending machine that provided me with ‘cow’ equipment has a vendor setting for bulls and farm hands, I never saw anyone in this sim who appeared in either role. The overall experience and vibe of the sim, for me, was extremely off-putting, but I came away with no tangible wrong doing that I could point at. I felt we missed something fundamental, and fundamentally wrong, in this investigation. I reached out to the sims owner, Disavowed Charisma, as well as a hucow group owner (with thousands of members) for an interview. Neither responded in a timely manner. ~Heartun