Photo Courtesy of Kelborn Kassar of the Second Life Star Wars Role Play Wiki

HEY HEARTUN~ I am a good Sub, and I love my Master but He has gotten involved in some geeky Star Wars role play in Second Life. It’s like a game inside of Second Life where everyone pretends to be a Wookie or some shit.

Like… “Bleep-blorp… I’m a robot!”

It is the most boring thing I’ve ever seen, but my Master loves it. He wants to go up levels (or some shit) really fast so He has me play too, as an Ewok or some shit. My only job is to stand behind Him and look fuzzy. I get so bored that sometimes I do other stuff in another window… and I don’t keep up on the geeky crap he and his friends are doing, and He gets mad at me. ~ BORED SUB

DEAR BORED ~ I know that he is the boss and you like doing his bidding, but he’s not paying attention to you. He’s just using you, and not in a good way — like you want. You need to talk to him outside of the role you have established. Put on a completely different avatar. Let him know that you are talking to him as you, not as the role you have shown him. Then discuss with him what you need out of your relationship and what you find lacking right now. He will probably want to play the game some times too but he can’t do it all the time.  It isn’t a dom/sub relationship if you are constantly required to do something that you do not enjoy. Then switch back to your regular avatar, get back in your sub role, and see if he can master seeing to your needs. If he can’t, then what are you doing with him?

~HEARTUN BREAKER

Jenna and her sadistic medical gear.

“It’s a BDSM Sim set in a futuristic space prison ship,” said Jenna Lee. “People are either domineering guards, prisoners or sadistic medical personnel. I’m going to be Medical!”

In a flash I thumbed through my inventory and found an old Alien avatar (the tall green one with the big eyes) that I modded with a female shape, and threw on some Hawaiian shorts and a cute top. I TP’d to the sim and there were a couple Furries with sci-fi dingle-dangle things hanging on Batman utility belts, and Jenna, her sub  and a mutual friend (and Twitter Queen) Tiffany Ronzales. The Furries were apparently regulars, and were explaining the rules when I minimized Firestorm, opened another browser, searched “English to Alien” and found a page that translated for me.

“⟟ ⋏⟒⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ☌⟒⏁ ⍜⎍⏁! ⍙⊑⟒⍀⟒ ⟟⌇ ⏁⊑⟒ ⟒⌖⟟⏁?” I hollered, and started running around the station.

“Oh, come on… we’ve got a Universal Translator!” yelled one of the Furries, I presume a guard. I kept running.

“⍙⊑⏃⏁ ⟟⎎ ⟟’⋔ ⌇⌿⟒⏃☍⟟⋏☌ ⟟⋏ ⏃ ⌰⏃⋏☌⎍⏃☌⟒ ⊬⍜⎍⍀ ⏁⍀⏃⋏⌇⌰⏃⏁⍜⍀ ⊑⏃⌇⋏’⏁ ⟒⋏☊⍜⎍⋏⏁⟒⍀⟒⎅?” I asked, and emoted that my eyes were darting around the room as I searched the station for an exit.

I continued running, and to my surprise none of the doors I encountered were locked. I saw a “WANTED” sign up on a wall — and it had an old profile pic of my avie, but not the green alien that I’d become. “Ha!” I thought to myself with satisfaction. “That will throw them off!”

And it apparently did! I continued to run around the sim, spouting alien gibberish (unless they, too, went to the clever alien translation page) and emoting panicked expressions of fear — like an alien prisoner trying to escape would, I imagined.

Then I saw it! The air lock “Surely, this will be locked,” I thought as I charged the round portal. It wasn’t. A short stretch of tube, and another portal — also unlocked — and SPACE! I shot out the airlock like a potato from a cannon!

Call Sign: Ball Breaker

Free falling for what seemed like forever ended with me crashing into a familiar planet. A beautiful sea side estate laid out before me, but my eye was drawn to the small air strip — and the fighter jet!

“Certainly, no one in their right mind would leave the keys in something as sexy hot as this fantastic jet, especially below a prison ship!” I thought as I Top Gunned my way into the cockpit and fired up the engines! Making my way into the sky I yelled “No prison can hold me!” and laughed at the wonderful time I had at the best BDSM sim I’ve ever been to!

~HEARTUN

Photo courtesy of http://xahlee.org/

HEY HEARTUN ~ Please, Miss, do not start my letter off with “Hey Heartun.” Even when i am not role playing i would never say that. Why i am writing is that i am very subservient and i like strong women. i went to NOVA’s Lesbian BDSM Club  (oh, yeah, i am male in real life but female in SL) and offered myself to anyone who wanted me as their servant but no one seemed to take me seriously. Some even accused me of trying to pick up women — but i’m not looking for sex,  just a woman to order me around. ~ AT YOUR SERVICE

DEAR AT YOUR SERVICE ~ Yeah, technically you are not violating the rules there at NOVA’s. As I understand it — technically — they allow trans-SL women. (so long as their behavior stays in line with the conduct expected at that club) But you picked NOVA’s, and you are hanging onto a technicality? And rather than sit back, you’re firing on anyone? That place is a fairly up-scale club and may not be the free-range meat market you’re looking for.  I mean, why not hang out at the Degraded Factory of Pain in Hardwood? Or find some rando in a Welcome Area or a fishing village or a racetrack?

Also, when you say you offered yourself to anyone who wants you — well, that isn’t a great sales technique. You no doubt sounded needy. I’m sure the “Hey, I’m here… lets party!” technique of picking up a fetish partner works fine if you’re in a fetish where things are largely equal and there are other people looking for what you’ve got. Heterosexuals, homosexuals and Furries seem to have a fairly equal volume of compliments — but the sad truth is that many fetishes do not have equal counterparts.

If you are into pretending to be a big baby, and you like women, you’re going to have to stand in line. Like being a sub? Also stand in line — or be willing to share. Into Scat or Water Sports? There are far more receivers than givers.

What you’re doing is a longshot too, although not impossible. You may not be into sex, but you ARE looking for a woman and you picked a club full of women who are also looking for women — not necessarily you. Then you went and threw out your appeal broadly (no pun) and probably too soon when you should have just sat there and waited. Of course no one was interested when you said something like “I want to be the slave/servant/sub of any woman here.” You were confirming that you are a guy looking for a girl, and trust me — they’ve seen that before. Also, when you give something away for free and offer it to everyone without first raising that thing’s value you are devaluing it completely.

I’d recommend that you go elsewhere to look for your Mistress. Failing that, if you are insistent about staying in NOVA’s with your quest you should sit there and be quiet — for a few weeks. Think like a petitioner to a Shaolin temple — kneel quietly and only speak when spoken to. Watch others for hours. If asked, tell the questioner that you are looking for someone to serve in a non-sexual way. Be ready for rejection, but with patience — grasshopper — you could eventually find someone who wants to take you home to clean her windows. If you aren’t willing to be patient, go to a less discriminating club. And if you don’t want me to start with ‘Hey Heartun’ don’t fill in the form. Your desires do not change the rules in anyone else’s game. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER

Photo courtesy: Raya Jonson and her Get Stuff store.

HEY HEARTUN~ I have made some choices that have made my second life more complicated than my first life could ever be. I met this guy off the rebound from my girlfriend leaving Second Life. He’s a decent guy and, well, I let things get hot and heavy and I quickly sold him on the idea of being exclusively mine. Things went well for a time. Then one day I surprised him with an SL pregnancy, which took him aback but after a short while he really got into the idea.

Then I met this girl. She was outgoing, exciting and very charismatic. We started Instant Messaging each other and spending a lot of time together — shopping — you know, the usual things. It was all innocent till she took me to this store that sold cages…yes I said cages. It was filled with BDSM toys and various things of that sort. I was very apprehensive at first, as I had never imagined those sort of activities in my life. Well, that quickly took a spin, we were fooling around with the cages and what not, just being silly, then in response to something she said I told her that I was never really the controlling type. I told her that I had always just followed the instructions and the lead of others.

That took the cake right there. This girl knew what she had to do from that point on. She started giving me orders — orders that were quite bizarre to me but for some reason I couldn’t stop and didn’t seem to want to. I really got into being, as she called me, her “pet”.

This relationship started taking me over until two days ago when for the first time the situation got sexual with this girl… and her girlfriend walked in on us. Then my guilt started eating me up and I knew I just had to tell my boyfriend about this. I wrote him a nice long notecard explaining all the lies I had told him and what I had done and wouldn’t you know it, the sod wasn’t even angry! All he said was that he knew that I had enjoyed girls before and he understood. He continued in his reply telling me that he had had BDSM experiences and had enjoyed dominatrix behaviours. He also made it clear that he would enjoy watching and participating in my actions with other women. While I know his reply wasn’t bad — it sort of disappointed me. Here’s why:

1. I lied to him. Should my deceitful actions be dismissed that quickly?
2. I think subconsciously I have lost interest in my relations with him — or men in general. I don’t know maybe I am just lost.
3. I think the fact that he wants to join in these other activities with me has turned me off him. For some reason that I don’t understand, this ‘being dominated’ activity that I have gotten into only seems to arouse me with women and very select few at that.

I don’t know what I have done other than complicate my SL life and been deceitful and I am not so sure what I am seeking right now but maybe this whole story can be summed up into one question. Should I leave this man or should I leave both the man and the woman and start entirely a new? ~ MOTHERHOOD BOUND

DEAR MOTHERHOOD BOUND ~ That lesbianic bondage love can sure have a strong allure, but you should have thought about that before you decided to get pregnant. Right now your virtual hormones are all over the map — and there’s no way you can make such an important decision in your condition.

Wait till you have the baby to decide, then do what is best for the baby. And if that involves ditching the dude make sure to be generous in your visitation arrangement with him.

Stephen Wu’s SL avatar Photo courtesy: Silicon Valley Law Group

If things get rough, seek out a lawyer specializing in online activity like Stephen Wu of the Silicon Valley Law Group.

~ HEARTUN BREAKER

HEY HEARTUN:I’m the female partner in a ‘triangular’ relationship involving The Mistress, her male sub and me. I really think that The Mistress and I have something spiritual, and that the sub is just a sex toy for her but he’s been with The Mistress longer than I have. And lately when I’m with The Mistress, I get the impression that she’s thinking of her sub some times. What do I do? ~ UNEQUAL PARTNER

DEAR UNEQUAL: A ‘triangular’ relationship is a complex one, and can only work if the sub and the partner (that’s you!) of the mistress also have a mutual understanding of each other’s needs and feelings. If either of them does not feel comfortable with the situation — it wont work. A sub can be a sex toy who is just happy to make his or her mistress happy in any possible way and in return get affection. To some people its just fun roleplay, to others an erotic and spiritual experience. Either way, even if you and Sub Dude are never great pals, you’ve got to talk with him frequently — after all, you both share the love of your mistress. ~ HEARTUN